I wake many mornings with no sense of her, no presence, no slightest trace.
There is little option but to move on. Life is here, I am here. More days pass, it is almost a year since she left. Twelve Moons. 

Abandoned dog-sticks in our orchard are now broken, and tangled in two seasons of grass. I can no longer piece them together. Some I can no longer find.
​But I still smile. From her, there is nothing but energy, happiness, contentment, love. 

It’s Home for her now.
I know that.
"This is where I live now.”  She seems to say.

I should find that easy. But she used to live here -with me. The only world she ever wanted to be in.
I know she is safe, and I know she is happy.
​I can hardly begin to imagine what it’s like there, but it must be the best place ever…….This is where people let go. They throw that tennis ball for a Ghost Dog one last time. They duck out, they cry their last tears, laugh their last laughs….then move on….

Some call it Heaven….some the Rainbow Bridge. Others, the High Astral…..I have no names for it except “The Place where my Misty Lives Now.”
But every few days her presence returns, bringing a warm glow. And inside it, everything fits, nothing is out of place, or ever could be. And she seems to say:
“I don’t intend to forget you”
“Yeah yeah yeah”
“I still love you”
“Hmmmm….ok…..”
But I’m laughing….she’s moving in on me again. 
If I didn’t know this was a dog, I’d think it had to be a Spirit Guardian, maybe even an Angel…. Love so strong, so enduring, so compassionate….
All is well.(I know. I feel it.)
“Talk to me. I know you can talk. Tell me about what it’s like where you live. Dogs are supposed to be able to talk when they get to Heaven.”
(Just a wave of love) 
My heart is brimming with laughter and love now, playing in a meadow, and all is indeed well. Is that all I need to know? Maybe that’s all anyone needs to know?
“Tell me everything.”
(??)
(Telepathy doesn’t work most of the time. My telepathy is rubbish.)
“Got to go now. I’ll come back….”
​“Come to see me if ever you want to…whenever you can. I’ll still be here…”
(No words….but another touch of love)......
​“In the meantime, go where you need to go, do what you need to do. I let go of you….Let go -see? Poof! Like a big balloon into the sky….”

I almost see her, in my mind’s eye, racing back for home, where golden light makes rainbows on dewdrops, where twilight is always shades of blue and pink, where stars are so huge, and flowers so scented, they take your breath away.
OK I know…… dash off then little one.
“Oh -” I say as she starts to run; “-Did I mention…?”
​“What?”
“Thank you.”.............
Then in the same mind’s eye, I see her turn around, cast me a look over her shoulder and say: ”I’ll be back. Because that’s what I want to do.”
​Go on then….Run now…..........
Seeya girl……

with gratitude to:RelaxMyDog.com for permission to include their music on this website.

Soothe separation/thunderstorm anxiety, calm dogs&puppies. Stop crying dogs.

9.

Letting Go, and Being Home